Nightmare
by Trickster Kitsune
Summary: Kurama tries to figure out a nightmare and gets some help along the way. Yaoi. Kurama x Kuronue


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Title: "Nightmare"

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Author: Trickster Kitsune

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Series: Yu Yu Hakusho

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Rating: PG-13

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Genre: Romance/Angst

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Pairings: Kurama/Kuronue

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Disclaimer: I don't own Kurama or Kuronue… Blah, blah, blah, etc… Nothing belongs to me except the nameless black Fox Youko. Please don't sue.

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Summary: Kurama tries to figure out a nightmare and gets some help along the way. 

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A/N: This is a songfic to the song "Nightmare" sung by Oogata Megumi (Kurama's seiyuu). The Japanese lyrics and the English translation for the stanzas are in italics and indented. This ficcy is AU (Alternate Universe) so I can do what I want with the characters, but I'll try to keep the characters in character as much as I can. Kurama's personality in this fic is human personality in his Youko form. Enjoy!

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A dream? I rarely ever dream because it is said that a Youko has no soul. However, it is also said that one receives a soul once one has learned to love.

Do I love anyone? Have I loved anyone?

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"Kagirinaku tsudzuku ankoku no sora

Hibiwarete-yuku enrai no oto

Tachidomaru tabi ashimoto ga yureru"

"Dark sky that stretches out limitlessly,

The sound of distant, cracking thunder.

Whenever I stand, my steps sway."

In the dream I stand, looking out into the midnight blue darkness. There are huge thunderheads—I can see the lightning flashing through them—and a strong wind. I am entranced by the lightning and the faint, crackling thunder.

Why is it so dark? I've heard that dreams are, or can be, pleasant. So, why all this darkness?

The clouds grow closer.

Is my soul so tainted with blood that I only have depressing dreams?

The dream wavers, making me sway a little and lose my balance. I fall to my knees. However, when I try to stand the dream shivers again and I fall back to the ground.

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"Atatakai hito no kotoba wo karite

Natsukashii hi no sugata wo karite

Oshiyosete-yuku akuyume-tachi

Nightmare!"

"Borrowing the words of a warm person,

Borrowing the form of nostalgic days,

Bad dreams step ever closer.

Nightmare!"

The clouds are above me now, and with their arrival comes a man. He is tall with black hair, bat-like wings, and pale skin. He wears black and in one pale hand, he holds a red pendant on a silver chain.

I know who this man is. Kuronue…

He is smiling; something he only did in my presence. However, his face looks strange for some reason. Though his lips are smiling, his eyes are not. They look dead and distant.

He takes a step towards me, then another until he is only an arm's length away. He puts the pendant around his neck and takes my hand. Wordlessly, he pulls me up and towards himself, wrapping his arms around me. The dream has stopped shivering, but it feels very cold now.

I know I am tense and my body shivers, but he forces me to relax by holding me gently, as he did when he was still alive.

"I've missed you, Kurama." His voice is light and happy, as if he has just come back from a long absence. I guess, in a way, he has.

However, there is just something different about him that I can't put words to…

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"Fushigi na koe tsumetai te

Yami kara call me nandomo call me"

"A strange voice, a cold hand…

From out of the darkness, they call me. Again and again, they call me."

Kuronue's hand brushes against my arm; it is as cold as ice. I shiver and try to pull away, but he holds me closer. He kisses my neck, and though his hands were cold, his lips are not. A shiver runs down my spine. This is all so familiar, but then again, it isn't…

"Why do you try to pull away, Kurama? You never did when I was alive. So why now?" he smiles. "This is only a dream, your dream. I won't hurt you."

His voice has changed from being light and happy to being smooth and seductive. He has never spoken to me like this, even when he was alive.

I start when I hear voices around me. I can't hear the words well at first, but they soon become clearer. I recognize one, it is that of a young girl. One that I had killed a long time ago. Another is a jumble of voices, most are pleading for mercy. With these voices come images. I cry out, backing away from Kuronue.

He watches me as I fall to my knees, hands over my ears. He drops down to his knees in front of me, moving my hands aside. The voices have stopped, but faintly I hear another. One that is very familiar, but it is faint and it is hard to concentrate on it.

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"Kurama… Flee…! He is an illus…"

"Those voices, they call to you, do they not?" Kuronue smiles, holding my hands gently. "They don't want you to forget. However, I will let you forget if you come with me."

"Where?"

His smile widens and he takes the pendant from his neck, swinging it hypnotically. "To the afterlife…"

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"Kurama…! Run…!"

"Ittai nani ga tadashikute.

Ittai nani ga machigai na no ka!

Omoide-tachi yo! Ima sugu kono kurayami wo

Terashite kure!"

"What in the world is right?

What in the world is wrong?

Memories! Please,

Illuminate this darkness immediately!"

I watch the pendant swing back and forth. I can feel my will struggling to stay in power, but my mind wanders to the hypnotic swinging of the pendant.

Kuronue advances towards me until he has me pinned to the ground on my back. He stops swinging the pendant and puts it back around his neck.

"What is right? What is wrong? I can see those thoughts swirling in your mind. I will tell you who is right: I am right. I am who you think I am. I am who you _hope_ I am. I am Kuronue. What is wrong? Your doubts, your illusions, the voice you faintly hear," he smiles sweetly at my surprised expression. "Yes, I hear it too. Ignore it."

He forces me to look him in the eyes and what will I had left is lost. I nod in response to his words. He loses his smile and bends towards me. Holding me to the ground with his hands on my shoulders and by sitting on my stomach, he kisses me deeply. I close my eyes, letting him do what he wishes and involuntarily _enjoying_ what he is doing.

When he pulls away from me I open my eyes and notice a dim light over his left shoulder. I look in that direction and gasp at who I see coming towards us…

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"Taisetsu na hito wo mamoru tame nara

Kono karada-goto kizutsuite ii

Kono kokoro-goto moete ii"

"If it's to protect someone precious to me,

It's OK if this body of mine is wounded,

It's OK if this heart of mine burns."

I see another Kuronue. I blink, thinking that my mind is playing tricks on me, but he is still there, coming towards this Kuronue and me.

What is going on?

The other Kuronue is standing over us now, a look of anger on his face. However, the anger is not towards me, it is towards the Kuronue who is pinning me to the ground. In a flash, I know that the Kuronue standing over me is the _real_ Kuronue!

I escape from under the false Kuronue while he is staring at the real Kuronue with a look of rage. The false Kuronue stands, his hands curled into tight fists at his side.

"What the hell are you doing here?" the false Kuronue hisses.

The real Kuronue smirks. "I'm here to get my dear Youko back."

The false Kuronue's eyes widen. "How did you know?!"

The real Kuronue tilts his head to the side, a movement that is so familiar… "How did I know? Well, it is obvious. I can feel his confusion and unwillingness."

The false Kuronue snarls, his illusory form shifting back and forth into that of a black furred Fox Youko. His fur rises in one form and he screams a battle cry as he leaps at Kuronue. Thinking fast, I run into the way of the Fox Youko. I know, from real life experiences, that a black furred Fox Youko has poisonous claws and teeth; even if it isn't fully in its fox-form. I also know that although this may be a dream created by the Fox Youko, one can be injured or even killed.

I disregard any safety for myself to protect Kuronue. The Fox Youko accepts the change in target and attacks me instead.

"Kurama!"

I tell Kuronue to escape, that I can deal with this myself. He shakes his head, refusing to leave, and joins in the battle to destroy the Fox Youko.

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"Kagirinaku tsudzuku ankoku no sora

Hibiwarete-yuku enrai no oto

Madowasareru na me ni utsuru mono ni"

"Dark sky that stretches out limitlessly,

The sound of distant, cracking thunder.

Don't be fooled by what you see."

This is hopeless. The black Fox Youko has me pinned to the ground again, a scythe in its hand—or paw—against my neck. I watch Kuronue; he is pacing restlessly behind the Fox Youko, knowing that if he attacked, my throat would be slit.

The light that heralded Kuronue's arrival was quickly swallowed up by the black thunderclouds. A deep rumble from above catches the Fox Youko's attention for a moment, making it loosen its hold on me a little, and I lunge up at it. However, right when I lunged at it, it had brought the scythe back up, but it wasn't to my neck yet. It cut deep into my stomach and, smiling, the Youko brings it up to lodge in my ribs.

I scream in pain, my blood gushing out over the scythe and the Youko's hand. Seeing that, Kuronue becomes desperate and attacks with his own scythe. He brings the blade down hard on the Fox Youko's spine, severing it. The Youko, now truly in his fox-form, howls in agony, turning quickly and wrenching the scythe from my ribs, breaking most of them. Kuronue swings another scythe into the Fox Youko's chest, blood spurting from its chest on impact. Holding tightly to the chains, he pulls up on both scythes, dislodging one from the Youko's spine and thrusting the other deeper into it's chest.

In a flash of lightning, the Fox Youko is gone, leaving no traces at all of it ever being there. I sit, doubled over in pain, but I notice there is no blood. Kuronue comes over to me, kneels before me, and takes me tightly into his arms. Once in his arms, the pain disappears. Was all of this—the Fox Youko, the pain, the blood—all an illusion?

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"Kizusuita mirai oitsumeru no wa

Kudakareta asu fuminijiru no wa

Kono mune ni aru ayafuya sa

Love"

"My heart is uncertain if it should track down the wounded future

Or tread on the broken tomorrow.

Love."

"Was any of this real…?"

Kuronue holds my trembling body close. "It was, but it wasn't. What the Fox Youko showed you was part of your past."

"But why?"

"I'm not too sure, but I think the Youko wanted you to see some of the things you did when you were younger and punish you for them."

I look up into his eyes, fearing the answer of my next question. "Who was the Youko?"

He pushes my silver hair out of my eyes and his voice is gentle. "I think the Fox Youko was you, or your conscience to be exact."

"I was punishing myself?"

He nods and I turn my face away. "What should I do? I can't change the past and this will probably happen in the future. I can't handle another experience like this."

Kuronue gently takes my face in his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes. "I won't let the dream happen again." He smiles a little. "I will help you deal with your ghosts, even if it takes a lifetime."

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"Anata no koe yasashii te

Yume kara call me nandomo call me"

"Your voice, your gentle hands,

They call me out of these dreams. Always, they call me."

I feel tears in my eyes and I wrap my arms around him, sobbing on his shoulder, thanking him repeatedly. He holds me tighter, as if he is afraid that he will lose me. But unlike the Fox Youko—or myself, to be exact—his hands are gentle and his quiet voice is soothing.

"Why do you want to help me after all that I've done?" I ask after getting marginal control over myself.

He smiles, delicately wiping the tears from my eyes with a finger. "I want to help you because then you can help me. You aren't the only Youko who has to deal with himself and his past."

Kuronue releases me and stands, holding a hand out to me. I take it and he helps me to my feet. He pulls me close to him again, putting one arm around my waist.

"Will you wake up now, dreamer?"

I nod, but the gathering clouds contradict my response.

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"Hageshii ame ni utarete mo

Tsumetai kaze ni sarasarete mo

Hikari wo motomete yamanai

Ano juboku no takumashisa omoishiru"

"Even when struck by the fierce rain,

Even when blown by the cold winds,

Seeking the light,

I think of that tree's strength."

The thunderclouds are ripped open by a streak of lighting, dumping torrential rains and bringing ice cold winds. I cower in Kuronue's arms, fearing a repeat of the dream. He holds me closer, shielding with his wings.

Suddenly, just as quickly as all hell broke loose, everything falls silent. I open my eyes, which I didn't even know I had shut, and look around. I am back in my room and Kuronue is sitting next to me, holding me gently.

I jump involuntarily when I hear a soft rumble of thunder outside our window. I am confused at first, but then remember the dream and everything that happened.

"So, you made it back."

Kuronue's voice is soft and I can see him smiling in the dim candlelight.

I throw my arms around him, grateful to be back in the waking world and out of the dream world.

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"Kagirinaku tsudzuku ankoku no sora

Hibiwarete-yuku enrai no oto

Tachidomaru tabi ashimoto ga yureru"

"Dark sky that stretches out limitlessly,

The sound of distant, cracking thunder.

Whenever I stand, my steps sway."

I pull away from him for a moment, wondering if this isn't still the dream. I get up, swaying a little from the sudden movement, and walk over to the window. I look out, expecting to see an endless expanse of black clouds. However, all I see is the moonlight gently illuminating the water on the leaves of the surrounding trees, water from a storm earlier in the day.

I shake my head, turning back to Kuronue, and smile weakly. "I guess this isn't a dream anymore."

Kuronue stands and walks over to me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me gently.

"No, it isn't."

He leads me back to our bed, drawing me down next to him. "You don't need to worry either. Remember what I said? We'll work out your past so you don't have to relive it again. But right now, you need some uninterrupted sleep, and I will make sure nothing disturbs you."

I lay against his side. However, I soon learn _how_ he is going to make sure nothing disturbs me: he is going to make sure I'm too exhausted to dream.

~*~*~*~

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"Taisetsu na hito wo mamoru tame nara

Dare yori mo zutto hijou ni mo naru

"Dare yori mo zutto tsuyoku naru"

"Is it's to protect someone precious to me,

I'll become much more extraordinary than anyone,

I'll become much stronger than anyone."

Before I fall asleep, I have one more thought. I am going to owe Kuronue for all he will do for me, to protect me. Well, I will have to pay off the debt by doing the same for him, even if it means becoming stronger than anyone can ever be.

With that last thought, I fall into a blissfully dreamless sleep.

~*~*~*~

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A/N: I finished it! ::falls over:: This is the first songfic I've actually finished. Please review and tell me what you think! ^__^


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